52: Peace... gets a new meaning...!!!!

Busy office schedule relaxes a bit... evening sky is visible again...window seat which seemed far from true beckons almost giving out a seducing glance...wheels pick up speed... body frame collapses in the chair and the chilling windy air cuts through the hair locks making them feel alive... the vehicular noises fade away...as the music starts connecting within...

Beats and the rhythm touché the heart ... the pulse starts racing...and unintentionally music player belts out that very song...you close your eyes to feel it...and in a twitch of a second ... you see the face...you jolt out of your trance...look around... everything is same around but still you feel there is amiss... ... as if something holds back and something races past both at the same time...you want to stop right at that moment...and feel it...live it... cherish it... once again...but you don’t listen to your heart and instead change the song in the music player...but the face never leaves your sight....

Something hidden deep in the heart  comes to the fore...long lost memories rush back to life...faces and their characters take shapes ... in an instant it seems to be some other world... which originated... which lived years ago.... which still breathes inside...

You get lost in an era you had lived before... the monochromatic shades of life create a splash...the portraits of life runs a trailer...You wish for another chance in life... to undo few things... to redo some others... you were someone else then...and forever wanted to be someone else...yet you will not want to change many things in that past....for those memories... those moments... those episodes made you ... YOU!!! Pleasant surprises... unpleasant decisions....happy occasions ... eager confessions...and sad endings...it is as if the train of past events has just approached your heart’s station...your mind questions why now??? After you have changed so much ...but only your heart knows that the exterior changes haven’t changed the inner YOU...!!!

Stress mounts in eye nerves and makes you to stop staring unknowingly...you touch the moist corner of the eyes...and wipe out that one building tear...you look around to make sure no one saw you doing that...and in fraction of seconds...the whole army of tears starts invading...you try and look out of window as long as possible... hoping that the windy breeze would wipe out this river...but one salty tear still manages to touch your lips...you don’t like its taste for it makes you feel weak again...after some eternal time the flooding river finally dries up ...setting in the drought of lifeless emotions...twilight sky matches the redness that has transcended in the eyes...but you look unperturbed...as you finally feel light...

As you walk back home...you see the same children playing in the grounds...the same vegetable vendor going about his daily chores...but they don’t make a pleasant evening picture to you today...... you are lost in your thoughts...still finding the reason behind all that had happened...the honking vehicle that passes by brings you back to reality ...and you see your home approaching....you remind yourself of your duties...a face again takes shape before you...this time a smile starts building around your lips...’you got your reason’...to smile for someone else there...and make the living worthy...with every approaching staircase... you think of all the topics to talk on...put on that smiling mask and yet again get ready to play your part.....



Life indeed is playing your part to the T...someone did for you... and you doing it for THAT someone now....this thought leaves you at peace... amidst chaos... you have found THAT someone ....the ‘gone’ doesn’t matter much ....for the ‘one’ that matters is right besides you medicating your wound when you tripped over the staircase while coming back HOME...

51: Adi goes philosophical....

Offlate the funda that I swear by or you may say the funda that I intent to stay with for the rest of my life is all over the place...I can almost see and read everywhere the same thing as if world too is echoing my sentiment...so would like to leave you with it too...

 “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma; don't let the noise of others' opinions drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Very Frankly... it only means... do what your heart says you to do... dont question it ...because it is someone who knows you the best...!!!

50: Hold on... I need to let go....

Now that you are gone... I miss you even more than before...

For the time we have spent comes splashing on the shore...

Each moment lived each moment spent...life to me had seemed so much in them...

Each of the places that we have been to....each of the miles that we have been through

Can they ever mean same again? Yes? No? Frankly I don’t know...

I had thought of holding onto you...till my last... And I couldn’t come to terms when you said ‘that’s all’...

You chose your path...you have right to do so...

Love is what we are made for ...and together our paths don’t go...

No regrets I keep... although I am in pieces...

For each single piece in me still feels blessed....

I have known you the most...not long I say...but most...

For things that we have shared made me complete almost....

I tell myself... it’s gonna be fine...

But far from reality I still feel you are mine...

I know there will come a day... Shaking me out of dream my eyes will say...

You are gone forever... and things are far from right...

But I can vouch for my heart that it will stand by me on that day...

Saying that you are gone but your memories are still in my sight!!!

(Its my serious try at writing poetries, do leave back your feedback...it will be much appreciated :D)

(its a personal creation, refrain from illegal copying of the contents.)

(http://verne10.wordpress.com/2011/02/28/hold-on-i-need-to-let-go/)

49: I wanna learn .. on my own..!!!

Sometimes I wonder how much spoon feeding should be done to a child...how much comfort zone should be provided to a child...

Ofcourse a parent takes care of his/her child but there is a very blur line that seperates care from spoon feeding. Care of a parent lies in making sure that child gets whatever he wishes for but at the same time learns from his/her mistakes and builds his/her own experience tree...while spoon feeding lies in making sure that the child gets whatever he/she wishes for while benefitting from the experience tree built by his/her parent...!!! A spoon fed child may lead a perfectly spotless life but maybe take that child out of his/her comfort zone and he/she may fumble big time...

Would like to live you with a line read somewhere:-

"Manzil to mil hi jayegi mujhe ek din chahe bhatak kar hi sahi... Gumrah to woh log he jo ghar se nikle hi nahi ..."

48: New Year Resolution... ala my way...

Another new year is here... and maybe a new beginning is what people see it as...me? Oh yeah... same to same...

Often people are ready with their New Year resolutions by the time its 1st January... okay I know there can be many who may think what resolutions...?? It’s a childish thing to think of it...!!! Alright point taken and accepted that not all do resolve to do something... and amongst those who do them very few actually follow them...that’s universal truth too!!! But let’s assume for some time that people do make resolutions when New Year starts...

So on similar lines....I have made a resolution this year (first time in mah life...) and which is something that I intend to follow...!!! Now people who follow this blog would know about my fascination with zodiac signs and Librans in particular. Well, why did I mention it here? Because, my resolution has something to do with it...!!! With zodiac signs..??? OMG... does she mean she is gonna learn astrology or something??? (No no... I don’t want to torture my blog visitors more ...don’t worry...). Well it has to do with one particular zodiac sign-Libra and their famous indecisiveness!!!

You have full right to ask me this ... Why is it that I keep on hammering things about Libran indecisiveness without sending out any disclaimer like “no relation to anyone living or dead...” that’s because it has relation to someone living in this goddamn world...and mind you no points for guessing who is he/she since...YOU KNOW HER (yea she is she...)!!!

Okay coming back to my resolution...so what is it that I want to do??

I don’t want to get up every day and spend some eternal 15 minutes time staring at my wardrobe as if every outfit I keep my eyes on is something worth giving a try today... (That does mean I actually have enough clothes that I won’t actually need to buy clothes for next one year at least...) but then it’s not about variety or quantity of clothes which is an issue... but my confusion..!!! Confusion since every outfit seems perfect for the day and I can’t quite decide which one I should wear... ok but the final result is- I almost always tend to wear whatever is easily accessible to my hands at the very top of the heap although I spend eternal 15 minutes admiring all the others ... that also means the one kept at the bottomest bottom of the heap (mera number kab aayega)... never actually gets the chance...(I suddenly feel like a villainous soul who is depriving someone of its food, clothing and shelter...) And the endest end result is I am always late for the office bus.... Aargghh...and I am still figuring out what is the reason for it??? If you could figure it out... let me know.... :P

I don’t want to go to an apparel shop and filter 2 of the dresses, which I may have liked from whole lot of bundle that I may have gone through....then try both of them in the trial room... and get super duper confused as to which I should buy, considering the fact that I am here to buy only one and not 2... And then the end result is- it gives the salesman an opportunity to say a dialogue-“usme kya hai madam... dono le lo...” and then although I am there to buy only one, the possibility of maybe I can buy both if I have liked them, starts taking shape in my grey matter...!!! Okay now if the person who is shopping with me is sound enough to say “c’mon no need of two... I think the blue one is perfect...” (Blue is my favourite color...), then I definitely climb back to my sanity and purchase the blue one..!! So the point is although I know blue is my favourite and it would look good... I get confused between choices... Aarrgghh... I am still figuring out why I take almost always more than 3 hours for shopping??? If you could figure it out... let me know :P

Okay so the main funda is –“Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you(in this case ME...) out” (I have kinda copied that line from the FUROBIKER’S TAGLINE...: P:P:P) So I have thought about doing something for this day to day wearing out...


But then why torture Librans here??? It’s because till date I had been in the perpetual mood of accepting the fact - oh its okay for Librans to be indecisive since it’s in their constitution... BUT NOT ANYMORE....!!! That means yes I am Libran....


The eternal Libran (ME...) has made a resolution that no more dwelling in the jungles of confusion... The resolution is to think over possibilities... analyse and take decisions. The resolution is to arrive at the decisions..!!! The resolution is to decide the next day’s outfit the previous night and no more spending 15 minutes of everyday morning life!!! The resolution is to think prior hand which colours I want to shop for and look out for possibilities in that space only...this way it will help to find out things which are necessary than things which are luxuries...this I say because I already have many blue dresses...and frankly I don’t need any more!!!


There is a very famous quote by St. Francis of Assisi- “Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible”. Okay and now I completely want to believe at this moment that there shall come a day when I would be doing that impossible...!!!

And yes I intend to stick to this...!!! Start by taking daily smaller decisions with finesse and there shall come a day when u shall arrive at that bigger something... and that line has already made me to start imagining some bigger decisions like- sitting in IPL auction and thinking of how much to raise my bid for Sachin...(hehehe.. he is my fav player...) and kinds...!!! So you got the drift..!!!!

And now most important how am I gonna track whether I was on track with this resolution...??? I don’t know... I am not gonna keep a data sheet to enter everyday decisions and my successes as I find it very very nerdy!!! Because you don’t need a piece of datasheet to tell you that you were successful or not!!! Because if you were successful ... you will know it, it’s that simple!!!

So maybe follow-on to this post can happen this year end...to declare my success or failure... but till then let me just say it loud and clear... I intend to follow my resolution!!! AMEN ... to that... :D


(Btw...I can also make a resolution to not pull legs of Librans anymore... my legs are already long... :P)

47: ye tera ghar... ye mera ghar

Just read an article about some lady who went into Shabarimala temple and touched the idol...

So many people have stood against her and are outrageously filling court cases against her.

Why? Because, any lady in the age of 10-50 isn’t allowed to enter the premises of that temple. There are many Aiyappa temples elsewhere in the country wherein everyone (read everyone) is allowed to go and worship. I am quite surprised as to why they have singled out Shabarimala temple for that reason? Some say there is some long followed tradition behind it, some say it as their duty to respect the ritual that is followed for ages, and some are equally clueless as to why this is accepted on the face of it, etc.

Also heard is ‘dev Prashnam’ in the same connection, which is prescribed by tantriks through which it is possible to read deity’s mind at shabarimala in order to find out if some wrong doing is done....!!!! Reading God’s mind... now that is something...!!! Wow....

God is no longer an omnipresent force I feel..!!!! It feels like he is one amongst us... People fighting for him for some lady encroached upon his private property and they all feel that he has taken it to heart since he never likes any woman in his property.... a dialogue echoes in my mind...‘Tune mere ghar me kadam kaise rakha, teri itni himmat...???’

I am just wondering what’s next....

There is already land legally in the name of Prabhu Shri Ramchandra at Ayodhya... and guess what he fought a battle for 17 long years to finally get that small piece of land... it feels as if God was so helpless that he had to actually go through the famous Indian judicial system to acquire this feat!!!

I feel that, the day is not far when the God would be summoned to be present in the court room in order to give statement for his stand....

Its people who make a God out of an ordinary human being and its people who make an ordinary human being out of a God...

Tedhi hai par kya kare...public hai...

46: A piece of life....revisited..!!!!

Not all soft songs touch your heart... but then there are few ones that leave an indelible mark!! More so, because you connect to that particular song with not only the lyrics, music piece, and enchanting voice of singer but because they remind you of some sweet memories in your life...they remind you of the time well spent...

There are many ones that strike a chord with me...

Aadat by Jal has a very fond memory ... In our annual cultural event, one of my friends at college had sung Aadat and the way he sang it, it almost seemed like he meant each and every word that he was singing...at the end of it almost everyone in the arena had Goosebumps... even today whenever I hear Aadat by aatif, all my ears listen is my friend’s voice...n yes those Goosebumps they still there.. .very much there!!!

‘Na jaane kabse umeede kuch baki hai....Mujhe fir bhi teri yaad... kyuuunn aati hai...’

It used to take me almost 2 hours one way everyday to reach home from college during my initial 2 years of engineering life. Along the way there was a 10 mins long water stretch while travelling beyond Vashi. One song that gave me an apt company everyday along that route was Maula mere from Anwar- a masterpiece is all I can say about that song...A perfect amalgamation of RoopKumar Rathod’s voice, tune, lyrics, and godly chores...and to add to it... the expanse of sea while listening to it made the journey purely divine!!! Although I listen to that sing more often in my car stereo now, I am still instantly taken back to those train days ...when those 10 minutes would mean utter serenity!!!

'meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bolaa,
yaara raaj yeh usane hai mujh par kholaa
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
usko pasand karta hai maulaa'

College canteen was the ultimate place where the whole group would retire after sustaining through the dry lectures...!!! When sun had already begun on its drowning journey...and twilight is about to set in... It was perfect time for Lucky Ali to come out of closet and enchant me with his compositions...!!! Along the way back, when I had shifted to my new house which was around 20 mins away from my college, Scooty-Pep, twilight sky and Lucky Ali... was all I yearned for..!!!

'Anjaani Rahon me tu kya dhundta chale.. duur jisko samjha woh toh paas hai tere...'

The ultimate romantic song for me can be none other than ‘tujhe dekha toh yeh jana sanam...’ why?? I am a huge shahrukh fan although he may not churn out hits anymore... but DDLJ is special, Shahrukh is special!!! And more special is the way I have seen the movie DDLJ at the tender age of 11 yrs...!!! We (friends) took stall tickets in black for 20 rupees to see this movie and sat in first row of the stall to see this film...!! It was grand... of course it would be, any film would be if you sit in that row of any theatre...it’s the first ever romantic film I have seen in the theatre...although the word ’romance’ didn’t mean anything then...!! But Shahrukh was etched in my mind with his splendid hat and leather jackets and the oh-so famous cow bell..!!!! I still remember I had almost harassed my mom for getting me a similar cow bell..!!! So one thing is sure... If my guy has to woo me he has to sing this song to me... no matter what!!!! No one knows romance better than Shahrukh Khan (who thinks?? I think so...)!!!

'tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam... Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam..'

Reason for this post is I was in for a treat today... After a long while, I tuned into these songs... and I was instantly taken away to an era which had passed by... which may not revert back ever but which still smells afresh like it has been just yesterday...

45: Maybe I shud flip a coin...

I am dwindling between which way to go... on one hand tried n tested paths are appealing...road less taken is calling out on the other...

Some big shot person has said that -Life happens to you when you are busy making other plans...!!!  So maybe I should stop making any plans...and wait for life to happen...but that loser attitude wont put me to peaceful  sleep ...coz a decision needs to be made...not between good and bad...or right and wrong...but between different life paths...

My question here is what if ... two paths that you have to decide about are both equally good and equally bad??? equally right and equally wrong??? equally bright and equally dark???

44: Anything for my girl...

Once back from office...all he could think of was some moments of rest...

But, she was getting cranky...she wanted him to spend more time with her... wanted to feel that she means family to him...

He sensed her discomfort...and took her out... she held onto his hand tightly, as if never want to let it go...

He was ready to do anything for one glimpse of her smiling face...

She spotted a helium balloon vendor at the crossroads...and demanded balloons from him...

She was mesmerised to see big colourful helium balloons that went up on loosening the thread and came down on tightening it...

He readily took those balloons for her and put his hand in pocket to get some cash...

At that very moment his grip over the balloon thread loosened and up went the balloons... he jumped and tried to get back the thread...but in vain...balloons went up...Up and up...

He thought of buying another set of balloons for her... But she stopped him...

He could see her smile and she was utterly pleased....

She loved the thought that those balloons were free and that she was the reason for them to be so...

And she said to him-‘Dad, they look beautiful up there and not in my hand...’



For her... she experienced her ‘we’ time with her dad....

And for the single Dad in him...the day was made...!!!



(http://verne10.wordpress.com/2010/11/13/anything-for-my-girl/)

43: First Day of Diwali...I am running mom....

I still wonder where the time has gone. Circa 1990s...6 pm back from school and I had all the time in the world to do my stupid pranks with my building friends... we were a bunch of pranksters who would bully the bozo losers. Diwali would actually start for us 10 days in advance... with buying new clothes, to bursting small revolver band crackers, to making mud forts (killa in Marathi) Diwali was much more than simply sweets and relatives!!!

I still remember it was so much fun to actually go about each house and collect funds in order to buy warriors and Shivaji statue from the market for our beloved fort. And more fun it was to actually protect our fort from getting damaged by pranksters of our neighbouring buildings...

A day prior to Diwali we would have a small get together to decide what time we would be heading for fire crackers next morning... and the whole night would go in anticipation of what fun we were gonna have the next morning!!!

First Diwali morning would be one of its kinds...getting out of bed at 5 am was never so easy than on this day (because I could hardly sleep on the previous night). Making my bro to get out of bed was the toughest part though. We had a small ritual in our family in which I had to give tel-maalish (oil-champi) and utna scrub (a fragrant powder scrub) to my brother on the first day of Diwali (I don’t know the mythical story behind this ...but most of maharashtrians and south Indians have this ritual) and thereafter he will have his bath and then later I used to get same oil champi and scrub thing done to me by my mother (U see... I was a cranky person wanting to do everything that my brother did...lolz...). Now the big issue was till the time my brother doesn’t get his things done I cannot have my bath and get ready and go down to play with my friends...so almost every year on first diwali morning I used to fight with my bro to make him to move around doing his chores quickly.

Bursting crackers is the most awesome memory that I attach with my old Diwali days... we used to have a big municipal corporation tank right opposite our building and that would mean that several of the municipal water pipes (the big black ones –one in which we can easily crawl and go...) were lying unused just outside that tank and in front of our building. These pipes were part of our ammunitions. Have u ever tried bursting a sutli bomb in such a pipe?? (You aren’t that lucky  ... I Know... giving you the devilish smile...) But it used to sound like an alien attack on the Earth (take it from me... been there done that...)... the whole area would shiver like anything...!!! And yes separating each single cracker ladi (single stick of cracker from cracker necklace-TajMahal cracker...) was the most important task since that would ensure that we could burst the limited stock of crackers for a looonnng time..!!!!

Thereafter the barood-laden hands were straight directed to the washbasin by mom once back home for the Diwali Breakfast (in Marathi we call it Faral...). Chakli, Besan Laddoo, Chivda, shankarpali, Karanji, sev ...wow... no other breakfast in any world cuisine can beat that... and with this the end of breakfast would mark the second round of fun with friends...The Mandir(temple) time!!! We used to head for Ganesh temple that my town had...one could easily see the whole of the town youngsters bustling in and around that area...many new contacts would take place ... many new hearts would start beating and many new stories would begin at this time of Diwali in and around the temple area... For us children... it was all sheer amusement..!!!

With all the appointments dutifully followed in the morning, noon time was time for heavy lunch after which Goddess Sleep would descend on my eyes... Laxmi-poojan would follow with lots of prestigious fire cracker bursting.... the 10,000 necklace and similar kinds of big fire crackers...were regulars in the evening!!! Such was the golden period when I used to look forward to the first day of Diwali...

Circa 2010, there are children all around and 21 days vacation too ... but no forts in sight instead we have children hooked on their video games and cyber world.... I have oil and utna at home but bro isn’t in the country...Miss you bro... Friends are scattered all over the country and abroad too ...with facebook and gtalk the source of bonding between each one of us...temple area is no longer frequented by youngsters what with most of them preferring cyber dating sources today!! Getting up at 5 am is pain today... what with most of the office work carries on way past midnight everyday... Chakli, Besan Laddoo, Chivda, shankarpali, Karanji, sev everything is still there but calorie conscious self isn’t ready anymore to bask in their goodness...Laxmi-pooja is still there... but guess we are more running behind earning wealth than earning Laxmi these days... When Goddess laxmi showers her blessings, one should feel the utter peace and serenity in one’s life ... but that picture is far from true... All we are concerned about is putting away cash for our new home, new car, new holiday home... but amidst all of this the question which bothers me is  where has the time gone? Why aren’t we putting time into our lives?

And I am not blaming anyone with this but just doing a self retrospection...as to where my time has gone?

My mom keeps asking-“Diwali is approaching... I need to clean house, maid isn’t that helping... you will chip in na...” and pat comes my reply... “Mom I have deliverable this weekend... I am still not done with UAT (i e. QA in software lingo)...I am not coming home before 10 today...” Once back home, I have bills to pay ... mails to reply too...SMSes to reply to, studying for GMAT... looking after MBA application requirements... thinking about the next day in office ... doing the monitoring work for the systems that run during the night...and I don’t know how it strikes 1 in the night...I see around and everything is so quiet... everyone has slept... night has fallen to sleep with a hope to see a better first Diwali morning...& I feel the guilt in me... that I am not putting away time for my own life.. For my people...but rather all I am doing is putting away money and more money and doing everything possible in order to stack away more money...

There was a time when we used to personally meet friends and say “Happy Diwali” and now we just prefer to set our Facebook status to wish everyone... All because we don’t have time to call up or meet every dear friend of ours..!!! I feel guilty I feel helpless because I don’t have time...

Because I am running for money...I am running for good life... I am running for better designation ... I am running for more stability in life... when all I am aiming for is right in front of me... with steady cash flow... good loving family... spacious home to stay...and an already stable life I can say that yes I am leading a good life, but the satisfaction has disappeared... the peace is gone!! All I am getting is wealth not Laxmi’s blessings...anymore.

First day of Diwali:-

Mom: “C’mon have your breakfast... it’s already 10 am now...what are you doing?”

Me: “Wait a minute mom... I am running...”



(pics for representational purpose only... )