4: A Godly soul..!!!

Not many times you come across people who leave an indelible mark on your mind and heart….

 My granny had been admitted to heart care centre and one of the family members had to be there in the hospital continuously … usually my mom used to do handle the night time…

 It’s not often that amidst this chaos of emotions, stress, and worries you meet someone so unusual, extraordinary, and above all more than just a human being..!!! There was this boy who used to stay put at the hospital at the night to take care of his father who was also admitted there. He was a young boy of 17 heavily immersed in his books as his exams were nearing….

 He promptly gave the sleeping place to my mom… so that she can relax a bit!! My mom outta curiosity asked him about his background and he mentioned that for him it is better to stay at hospital with his father than stay at home since his house was a small shack-like of size 9”x10” wherein all his relatives were putting up who came to see his father..!!!! He had his exams in next 10 days and hence the night time in hospital gave him the perfect ambience to study.

 At 3 in the midnight … he probably had his first break from studies, he asked my mom –“kaki, chaha ghenar???” (I.e. Will you have tea...?) …to which my mom replied in negative since she is not in habit of having tea at the 3 in the night… With this very conversation my mom fell asleep sensing everything is fine my granny. Next morning even before my mom could wake up this boy was standing in front of her holding a cup of tea …he was like” kaki, sakali tar chaha gheyuch shakta( you can atleast have tea in the morning)”…. My Mom was touched..!!!! She readily took the cup and drank the sugary tea inspite of being averse to sugar…

 This very thing happened for several days at a stretch till it was time for my granny to go home…My mom outta of concern asked him as to when his father is gonna be discharged… to which he replied that he is already discharged 3 days back… he used to keep coming to hospital so that he can follow his daily habit of studying in the night while his father was recuperating along with his other relatives at the house and in the meanwhile give company to my mom with the first cup of tea in the morning…. My mom was astonished, shocked and awe-struck all at the same time. Later my mom found out that the tea that he used to get every morning wasn’t free as he always kept saying it costed Rs6 per cup every day…. A boy who could not manage so many people in his small home with small incomes was spending 6 rupees from his pocket everyday for my mom..!!!The point here is not in spending 6 rupees for someone…. But the thinking and the mentality that boy had when he did that gesture for my mom..!!!

 It’s not important that you spend huge sums of money to prove your concern for someone but most often it’s your deeds that speak volumes of your honesty…and humanity..!!!

 Its incidences like these that make you believe in GOD… that make you see GOD..!!! I am sure my mom prays for him daily now…and now she says… SHE HAS SEEN GOD..!!!!

3: kaash yeh pal tham jaaye...

When we are very young in our schools … all we want is grow up quickly in order to avoid being questioned and being answerable to parents. As we are growing up from kindergarten to primary school we travel a comparatively small distance from baa-baa- black sheep to Indian history involving Gandhi and all the other details in between. As we become 11-12 years old all we want is quickly get into teens and get ourselves a life….( get outta Gandhi history and maybe get a  girl/boyfriend , first brush with puff etc…( left to individual imagination)…). We don’t travel much here either but just keep pushing the envelope in the hope of doing all the desired travel (read explore stuff) once we grow up…

What about the glorious teens…??? -“C’mon Smriti (obviously any random name can’t be mine…) you are now a grown up act like one and stop harassing your kid-brother” –the typical parental dialogue (no one has escaped that). You may feel helpless at times in front of your kid-bro/sis that “wow- now I can’t even scold him…! I am a grown-up and grown-ups don’t fight” …really??? But then did you actually listen to that??? And honest answer can’t be positive…

Then one day you plan a movie with your friends- first movie of your life with your friends…” amazing” and what you receive in return –“Smriti how dare you go to movie with your friends... you are still such a small kid and you have already got spoilt…!”  Uh-hhuh what did I hear? “SMALL KID”..?????

What the... HELL… (No at that age u r still some years away from the typical other slang… at least I was…)!!!

And then you remind your parents that just yesterday you were a grownup to not harass you brother and how come you are a “such a small kid today” and frankly the whole teens almost finish up in this very argument.

We advance further to graduation and now all we want to do is enjoy the life to the fullest …become slightly brat, and yes a rebel at times…because now you are actually grown-up boss!!!!(Everyone has been a rebel at some point of time in their life so don’t start judging me over  ... “oh so she was a rebel..????...I see…”)… this is time when you want to have night outs with friends... you wanna own a bike… gets spikes on your hairs for guys of course and get hair streaks for gals..… And basically all the typical college fancy (I call it fancy now... since most of us don’t get to do that now…due to white-collar professional life) stuff. Then comes the time when you get the first feeling of being responsible for your own future… for your destiny… for your decisions…however big or small they may be…!!! Not all decisions are right… in fact most of them are wrong…but... As the saying goes:

“Sometimes we take right decisions … and sometimes we make the decisions right….”

Ultimately we learn to live with our decisions… our first brush with adjustments... that is..!

And then all of a sudden you want to slow down… you want the  time to standstill…you don’t want to get outta it and grow up further..!!! The college life, friends, situations, as also the family support is so –so comforting that you budge to grow out of that comfort zone… and face the world…all of a sudden .. Life seems so paced up… that you start feeling short of breath… feels like life is so hell bent on teaching you so many things in so little span of time…phew!!

You try and accommodate many things in small space, small span … and you secretly wish that let this time be standstill here at this very moment..!!! Today we are grownup… but do we really enjoy life more than how we enjoyed at the age of 9? Answer can never ever be positive….

“Aey waqt ruk ja .. ruk ja tu tham ja wapas jara daud peeche….

Main chod aayi khudko jahan pe.. wo reh gaya mod peeche….. “

2: Past trying to foray into present..

Many things are changing.... long  lost ppl are coming back in life... as if they never left... life doesnt ask me.. whether i need them back... why???

I want my life to allow me to take few decisions atleast... but hell NO..!!! I had learned to live without them... infact I was happy... and now i really dont want anyone to come and mess my life as if they have right to it.!!

I dont know what kind of stars and planets' makeup i am made of... but for me distancing from ppl is not difficult.. For me.. movement is important and that too only forward... I dont believe in turning around and giving a handshake to the past... for me what is gone is past ... never to come back... and what is present ...is to be cherished and lived to the fullest ...!!! I quite feel suffocated when someone from past tries to interfere in my personal space in present ... in such situations what can you do? -be straight in handling it by letting noe the person concerned that u no longer can provide space that once u used to... or else go with the flow... accomodate the past when u have free time in present..!!!

I am the kind of person who will never sit and try to predict the future ... but i am blessed with the natural power to detach.... from the environs , from the people who no longer mean essential in my life to survive..!!! You may feel i am arrogant but being a little arrogant is better than being an emotional fool... And i love it this way..!!! So no question of accomodating the past..!!!

In any relationship.. there should be space for each other to breath and live , survive... Its true that ppl come and go in ur life so that they can provide u with the most valuable asset of ur life -"experience" !!! But which experiences to cherish and value and which ones to exclude from your life is at your discretion...its very tough to be the special person in my life...but once u r tagged special...u remain that way for me till my last breath..!!!!Because then you know that u r "somethign else"....!!!

( this post is in memory of a clingy person who is a total pest and obnoxious weed.. this is to tell her/him that ... i am fed up of you..@@@@@@@ )

1: Someone shares my views ...

Today was a complete no-work day...and since i can rarely sit doing nothing in front of pc screen for long i started surfing and came across a blog... http://microjyotishi.blogspot.com It is been written by a guy who is only 22 yrs of age and who is already a practicing astrologer.I was amazed by reading his posts.

 He is an engineer just like me, he is trained in german just like me... and well he is interested in jyotish( astrology ) just like me...!!! and well similarities dont end there... he too questions his situations just like me and he too at the end leave everything to fate to unfold itself just like me..!!! whooosshh!!! well... we are not long lost twin siblings from kumbh- ka mela..!!! but it really feels good .. to know people who kind of share similar views, who share similar likes and dislikes, who share similar life paths. I have never seen this guy in my life but i already feel as if i know... him so damn well..!!! its a said thing.. that there are exactly 7 people who look exactly same in this world ... though i doubt this theory i am starting to believe that there are indeed people in this world who share similar life paths ... its only upto u to find out; that is if u r interested!!!

There is definitely much to learn from this guy...and also who wouldnt like to have a personal astrologer to guide you through..!!! :-)