71: Introspection of the year that is going by..

I am back... and with a bang!! too cliched...right?

I am back, yes, but certainly not with a bang...! Its been a long time since I have written something, said something or had a rant against someone. I do think at times, have I changed? Don't I have problem with anyone any more? Do I not care for anything any more? Well, I do care for many things, many people, and I certainly have rants against many people, but guess its all part of growing up.. accepting things... making peace with what life gives you...!!

I am also in process of finding my rhythm once again... my flair for writing... !! Its been a while I have been a regular here...somehow, this space feels unfamiliar to me... it feels like I have lost my connect with it...!! For a long time now, I feel like I have deserted my own self...left behind my own self...and have come along a path which is not how I would have imagined for myself...!! For a long time now, getting up in the morning... going to workplace ... working like a donkey for 13-14 hours at a stretch and coming back home.. gorging on all the bad and heavy calories late night and then retiring for the day, has been the only thing in my life...!! I have worked quite a lot in last 1 year, worked relentlessly to prove my mettle ... to mark my place in my workplace... to adjust, learn and achieve all that I could ... and I must say I have been successful in doing so...a promotion at workplace is the proof enough of my efforts ... but somewhere I have lost myself in this rat race..!!!

These days, I question my own self... was it worth it? All that I did in last 1 year, all that I sacrificed in last 1 year, was it worth it for a single promotion? It certainly isn't...

But as people say..."Der aaye durust aaye..."

I hope to keep coming back here more often...and find my flair.. my rhythm ... find "ME" again...!!

That's my new resolution for the upcoming year.... I am never again going to lose myself in the process to prove something to someone ... I will never ever become someone else in process of achieving something in life...!!!

70: My Dad.. My bestie...

No .. its not father's day today nor is my dad's birthday, but something that happened today completely made me nostalgic and made me miss my dad hell lot...!!

It was one of those days, when I woke up on time and took cab for my office( on all the other days, I hit the snooze button and instruct Cab fella to go off). On one of those typical Bangalore signal halts, I was just aimlessly looking outside my window, when I saw a huge green landscaped joggers park inundated with lots of morning joggers and there in was this guy with his daugther in his arms. He looked like a mid-thirty guy, probably having some time out from his busy IT schedule for his daughter. His daughter looked just above 1 year and who was enjoying every bit of her father time feeling extremely pleased and secured in her dad's hands.  There was this small tapri (shop) of tender coconut and both father and daughter were enjoying a tender coconut together. Her dad would suck out the tender coconut water into the straw , would apply pressure on the other side of the straw so that water doesn't flow out of the other end and would then put this straw in his daughter's mouth. She would then drink it from the straw and then turn her face the other side to indicate him that the straw is empty now. This went on till I was halting at that signal. All the time the father didn't drink even a single sip of tender coconut. But his daughter was enjoying and demanding more and more to her dad. Where to dads get that selfless attitude from? For a mother who has bore the child with her all the time, feeling of motherhood and selflessness can be understood but for dads!! And if this dad has a daughter then, she is the apple of his eye all the more than his son!!

Dads are really special , especially to a daughter, her dad is everything, her entire universe! Moms are important too but the place of dads is something which even a mom cant acquire ever!! He is that first guy in that small girl's life who made all the dreams possible, who seemed like a super man to accomplish everything that his daughter ever asked for, who is more of a friend when his daughter fights with her mom and his better half, who is a protective shield to protect his daughter from the fights she picks up with her elder brother, who is the most jovial and ever smiling person that she ever saw in the face of adversity...!!! 

My dad is all of that and much more. Mom is important to me but my balance tilts a little more towards my dad. I just wish to make sure that , the dream that you saw for me daddy , I accomplish it, no matter how long and how rough the path be,  I walk on it with determination and sheer endurance to make it happen with a smile on my face , the way it is always on yours!

Dad-- missing you dude!!